Cries

I realize I'm not very good at keeping up here. Honestly, it's been a rough year and I don't have much energy left over after I do what I need to do these days. Have you ever seen a cat swim? There's a reason cats don't like water. When they swim, they look half drowned, barely visible above the water, fighting to make it to shore. That's what I feel like...

The good side of things is that I'm doing my best to learn how to help other people right now. Many of my friends are in a similar boat. It's not hard to miss that struggling, drowning vibe when you're paying attention. This morning I had another really hard pill to swallow, but it brought an epiphany. I'm fairly discerning. I sense things easily and usually know when something is going on whether I'm "in the know" or not. However, much of the time, I keep my mouth shut believing that if the person hasn't told me what they're going through, they don't want me to know. I pray quietly and look for an opportunity to probe further. I'm beginning to realize maybe they want me to ask. Granted, there's a way, place and time, but nothing says love like having someone close to you send a quick message asking, "Are you okay? I sense something's up and just wanted you to know I care." In future days, I'm going to be more bold. I'm going to ask the questions.

Sadly, most pastors/leaders invest in people because they like them (or sometimes not) and need them. I long to invest in people because I love them, whether they help me out or not. When you pour into people because you love them, I believe you're going to care more about what they're struggling with whether it impacts your personal ministry/world or not. It stands to reason unconditional love like that will eventually impact your personal world in huge ways. Caring for people most when it's convenient for you or when that person can affect your own personal ministry/agenda will eventually take it's toll.

Life

I spent last weekend scanning a bunch of pictures of my eldest when he was a baby. Oh my word, he was cute! I'm not talking, "He's my son, so of course he's cute." I'm talking, "Get that adorable baby to a talent scout" cute. Granted, I AM still his mother.

All that scanning pressed upon me how terribly quickly life passes us by. My wonderful sweetheart and I were much younger, thinner people, and while it didn't feel so at the time, in some ways life was simpler. For one thing, you didn't blink and miss January like I did this year.

My sister-in-law has the audacity to get married this month, further complicating life and making me wax even more sentimental. It seems like yesterday I lived that other life and was a bride myself. Today finds me a mother of two, dyeing greys away, moisturizing wrinkly places on my face (while still battling acne...how does that work?) and boldly marching toward middle age. When the heck did THAT happen!?!

Lately, I've found myself grateful that God has made us for eternity. I forget that. I need to make the most of every opportunity. I need to reach as many as possible with the glorious good news of Christ. I also need to remember that God did not make me for a season or even a lifetime as we understand lifetimes. He has set eternity in the hearts of men. He calls us to let tomorrow worry about itself. Yes, He is the God of yesterday and tomorrow, but He is very much the God of today. Instead of worrying about what tomorrow holds (which is tempting) or musing over times I loved and sometimes miss (also tempting), I need to seek what God wants for me while it is still today. I have so many things I would love to do, books to read, things to learn and yet, why must they all happen in the 70 or so years we're given on this earth? He is the God of eternity. Provided I spend today doing what He asks me to do, there will be plenty of time to enjoy the people I love and do the things I love.